'Didn't she cross the line first by ditching me in a foreign country?': 30-year-old friend kicks 29-year-old woman out of the car during road trip and continues without her, woman cancels friend's flight home that she paid for

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Brad Dickson • Managing Editor
Apr 24, 2025 12:00 PM EDT

Some people can make good friends… but only when they're kept at an arm's length. Too much time together or in the wrong circumstances, and you might start questioning why you're friends with this person in the first place. You learn this lesson pretty quickly in your twenties when you're looking for roommates and decide that a close friend or an acquaintance who is also looking for a place would be a good person to live with. 

You quickly discover that good friends don't necessarily make good housemates, and thus learn a valuable life lesson about other people. As you get older, you'll learn to accept that there will be limitations to the scope of your relationship with these "friends" or stop putting up with these "fair-weather" friends entirely.

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  • 01

    "AITA for cancelling our return flights after my friend kicked me off our trip?"

    Hi everyone. I (29F) recently went on a roadtrip with my friend (30F) of over 20 years. While only 2 days into a 10 day trip, we got into a fight. We spent the night apart but ended up making up the next day and decided together to continue and try and communicate better. Shortly after we made up though, I asked her if I could take a nap in
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  • While traveling together is supposed to strengthen relationships by creating great experiences and navigating unique new scenarios together, they are undoubtedly trying for any relationship. Many a romantic relationship has had underlying issues come to a head… There's something about the challenges of travel combined with the headspace provided through getting away from the responsibilities of home and work that acts as a catalyst for breakups.

    When this woman was kicked out of the car and left stranded in a foreign country by her "friend" after a disagreement. She, in return, cancelled her now ex-friend's flight home that she had paid for. Now, she's wondering if she's in the wrong for doing so.

  • 03
    the car while she did some driving toward our next destination. She said no problem. When I woke up, I noticed we were not going in the right direction. We were 15 mins from the airport and she told me she was returning the rental car and would be continuing the trip alone. I was dumbfounded by this as we had just had a heart to heart and decided to keep going on the trip. I couldn't believe she
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    would do this while I was asleep next to her and not tell me until I woke up and asked what was going on. I grabbed my stuff, found a flight with no notice, and spent the next 12 hrs flying home. I was devastated but that betrayal and abandonment was the last straw for me.
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    Now here is where I am being accused of being an a h le: I decided to cut my losses and deleted her off everything. I tried to get back whatever money I could from the things I had booked in advance, including the return flights. For context, I had paid for the stays at the first 3 places (which we had already used). She had paid for the stays at the places we were still yet to
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  • 06
    go, and clearly intended on using them for herself. So I had no where to go but home - and couldn't fathom continuing the trip after going through such a serious friend breakup anyway. I never wanted to speak to her again and I was prepared to never see a dime from her for what I had paid for. Shockingly, she texted me the next day to say:
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  • 07
    "i found out my return flight was cancelled. that put me in a really tough spot. i had to rebook at 3 times the original price, and this added a lot of unnecessary stress. whatever happened between us, cancelling someone's flight without their knowledge or consent crosses a serious line. i deserved a heads up at the very least". Her grandmother also texted me saying she is going to pay 3000 dollars for a flight home and will have to sell some of her jewelry to help pay for this flight. Now I am
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  • 08
    a) didn't she just dump me at the airport to find my own way home? didn't she say she wanted to continue on her own? that means to me, we're both finding our own ways home! b) did she seriously think i would be paying for her flight home and wouldn't try to get my money back?
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    c) didn't she cross the line first by ditching me in a foreign country? didn't i deserve a heads up when she decided to drop me at the airport?? didn't she cause me unnecessary stress??? d) the flights are not 3k. I can google it myself. right now she can get home for cheaper than i did. why would she lie about this? just to try to make me feel bad? SO reddit, am i the a h le here?
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  • 11
    OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the a h le: I believe I might be the a hole because I cancelled a flight that I booked and paid for my friend to use. I did it because she had just kicked me off our trip together and told me she wanted to continue the trip without me.
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    This action ended our friendship, and I did not want to ever speak to her again and I did not expect her to pay me back for anything on the trip. I don't understand why I would be the a hole in this situation but I believe she thinks she deserved to use that flight because it was originally intended for her.
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    secretlywicker • 50m ago More info needed: Was the fight about something unforgivable? It sounds like you made up. Was it petty drama or something more? Inclined to say NTA, but some fights are worth taking your ex friends to airports for. On blanket assumption it was petty absolutely NTA. Maybe petty, but she sent you packing unexpectedly which costed you, so revenge is delicious in this situation.
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    Tez09 26m ago • Info: if she was planning on continuing the trip alone, why was she returning the rental car? How was she going to get to the next destination in a foreign country?
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    silvermantella 37m ago • NTA, to the extent her inability to grasp the irony is painful! I'd respond something like "I know, it can be really expensive to have to get last minute flights AS I FOUND OUT WHEN YOU DUMPED ME AT THE AIRPORT. At least you have a few days/weeks to look for cheaper deals for yours."
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    I'd also then message something similar to the grandma but add "although I've got no idea why X is asking you for 3000, there are flights available from as little as XXXX (include link)" Just incase ex friend is trying to scam off her grandma as well! Then block them both -tbh it's weird her grandmother even has your number in the first place!
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    WestCovina1234 39m ago NTA. She dumped you to make your own way, you just showed her the courtesy of doing exactly the same to her. Block her number, as well as those of her family. She has some nerve acting the wounded party.
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  • 18
    ay-parcam • 24m ago NTA. Dropping someone off at the airport in a foreign country without their consent, after just agreeing to work on your problems together, crosses every line of friendship. From that moment, your trip together was over. It was her choice to continue without you, so the rest of her trip- including her flight home- is on her like she put it on you. You chose to cut your losses and leave. She didn't. Why would you pay for her flight home? Lol
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  • 19
    GemueseBeerchen • 47m ago NTA, she started it. She was totally fine taking your money and doing whatever she wanted as long as it benefited her.
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    still_fkntired . 37m ago NTA... she's guilt tripping you and oh well... She was shady Af how she went about "sending you off" she thought she had a fool eee NTA
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air travel friendship friendship drama navigating relationships drama best friends friends relationships friendship issues Travel traveling road trip
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